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When Someone You Love Is Addicted to PornOften times when you are in the middle of a crisis you canâ??t see clearly enough to know what your next step needs to be. The following 10 steps will allow you to move forward. 2. Seek help for yourself. Reach out for support. You can join a 12- step group. Look into getting counseling. Itâ??s important to figure out how to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Itâ??s important to work on your own issues. You will need to find the strength to heal your own shame, pain and loneliness. You will need a plan on how to get through this situation. Trustworthy professionals provide comfort, encouragement and most of all perspective. 3. Pray. I believe in prayer. Itâ??s another form of support. It will keep you positive, give you hope. You may be tempted to tell God about your big problem. Instead t 4. Confront your loved one. Ask questions and offer support. Do it without attack. Be bold, be gentle and be honest. Seek to understand in spite of your pain. Be prepared to listen. Do you hear a willingness to change? 5. Require your partner or spouse to get help and support. An addict canâ??t change without help. Help means a counselor, an accountability partner and a support group. Porn is used to numb past and present pain. Addicts have unhealed childhood trauma. Porn is used to escape negative feelings such as self hatred, shame, and depression. With help other ways of coping will can found. There is no way someone can heal lone. No way. Donâ??t kid yourself. If that were the case porn wouldnâ??t be a problem. Realize that if an addict refuses to reach out for help change will be impossible. With support healthy relationships are established and intimacy is learned. Intimacy is allowing others to see who you really are. Intimacy is about heart connections. When one knows intimacy porn is no longer needed to numb out the difficulties of everyday life. 6. Establish healthy boundaries. What decisions do you need to be made to protect yourself? Do you want to stay in the relationship if there is no change? Refuse to cover up for the otherâ??s addiction. It wonâ??t work. Stand up for yourself and become 100 % responsible for your life and role in the relationship. Feel your pain. Share your feelings with sincerity and love. 7. Forgive. Forgive yourself and forgive your loved one. Forgiveness isnâ??t condoning the behavior. Forgiveness is refusing to get revenge. This is difficult to do. Ask God for help. 8. Controlling another isnâ??t an option. Itâ??s not an option because itâ??s impossible. Trying to control someoneâ??s behavior is a trap. Porn can be found everywhere. Itâ??s impossible to get away from it. You can take away a computer and a television but that wonâ??t keep an addict form porn. A person addicted to porn has to heal his mind, body and soul. When that happens porn will no longer be an issue. Until that happens porn will always be an issue. All the nagging in the world wonâ??t work. Checking up on an addict wonâ??t work. Porn filters wonâ??t work. Asking for Godâ??s help will work. Focusing on your own issues will work. 9. Learn patience. Recovery is a process. Recovery is work. It wonâ??t happen over night. There will be set backs. There will be relapses. There will be ups and downs. Expect them. Learn to deal with them. If you are both working on your own issues and moving forward eventually you will find peace. 10. Expect a miracle. Have faith. Never give up. Give encouragement and hope. In the end if you donâ??t heal your current relationship it doesnâ??t mean you have failed. It means God has other plans for both of you! Tess Marshall is a licensed psychologist with a masterâ??s degree in counseling psychology and specialty in addictions. Her mission is to help people live free from porn addiction. â??Kick Porn: Spiritual Power Practices For New Lifeâ?? can be found on her website www.KickPorn.com and www.KickPornBlog.com. Permalink: http://expert-talk.com/tips/614/when-someone-you-love-is-addicted-to-porn-249614.htm Related Tips and Advices
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