Embracing the weird stepchild: Group facilitation key to conflict resolution

Embracing the weird stepchild: Group facilitation key to conflict resolution

It is the weird stepchild; a necessary evil, so to speak, that we much less prefer to avoid, disregard, even ignore. Generally viewed as negative, we cringe and shutter at the slightest appearance of a potential conflict, however real or imagined it m

ay be and thus we take every actionable measure to avoid it at all costs. Avoiding conflict is, outright, however, in reality, is impossible if not unrealistic. This is not to say that we should encourage and perpetuate conflicts in and among our daily human interactions; however, conflict is not necessarily as disastrous or damaging as we may perceive it to be. In fact, it very well may be an opportunity to discover better ways of communicating with each other and thus improve our human interactions. Consider conflict as a practical example of practice makes perfect. It provides for us an opportunity to learn and improve, and hence per-fect ourselves, our businesses, our homes, our interactions, and our relationships.

Whereas, we all perceive conflict slightly differently, by and large, conflict is typically seen as anything that contradicts our personal views, thrusts us out from our comfort zones, challenges our ideologies, induces pain, sorrow, anger, or threate

ns to destroy our inner peace and consequently disrupt our lives and the lives of those we love. In sum, conflict can be as simple as two people bantering over politics, and encountering an opposing view and in that, the differing views are viewed as a conflicting; a conflict, and one or both parties become defensive, offended. On the other hand, it can be as serious as war and famine. Either way, the word “conflict” harbors within it negative connotations and elicits similar such feelings. Truth be told, it is more important to know how to handle conflict positively, than it is to avoid it entirely for, inevitably, there will come a time when you encounter, especially at work, a difference of opinion or a miscommunication that causes some level of discontent, discomfort, disappointment, even anger among one or more parties involved. Simply put, the trick is to not run from conflict so as to avoid it; play ostrich. It is rather to know how to maturely, professionally, calmly, tactfully, and skillfully approach a conflict so as to handle it well and thereby effectively resolve it. As Susan Heathfield, a former HR director and popular columnist says one of the first, initial steps to effectively managing and resolving conflict is having the courage to tackle it. “Practicing personal courage is necessary if you wan to really resolve conflicts at work. It is much easier and safer to ignore the necessary conflict and play ostrich.” She continues, “Unfortunately, unresolved conflict tends to escalate.” Heathfield uses the metaphor of a boiling pot. The water, at first seems calm, but when left unattended can spill over the surface and make a mess at any given moment. The question, then, is: How do I effectively handle and resolve conflict so that it doesn’t blow up in my face? The answer is: There is no one right way to resolve conflict; however, a step in the right direction is group facilitation. Fortunate 500 companies, and small business alike, attest to the benefits of group facilitation and recommend it as an actionable step towards resolving conflicts.
Group facilitation the process by which participants meet together, face-to-face in a non-threatening, neutral environment and discuss issues that first ignited the conflict in attempt to collectively arrive at reasonable, actionable solutions. This process is usually facilitated, or led by, a mediator with whom each party is familiar with and can trust to be unbiased, non-judgmental, and open-minded. “The process of facilitation is abundant holistic, requiring insights and outsights, awareness within and externally directed thoughtfulness,” says David Sibbet of Grove Consultants International. In other words, the process of group facilitation involves an action plan, which incorporates managing energy and promoting open, honest communication. Furthermore, the process of successful group facilitation also includes creating safety; the mediator must take into account issues pertaining to the group dynamics and provide an environment of trust so that managing conflict, overcoming resistance, encouraging equal participation, can thereby spawn faith in the process—confidence in the fact the process with lead to a mutually-beneficial resolution. “To effectively lead the process (of group facilitation), [participants] must first be aware of your own capacity to make sense of the forces, energies, motions, and relationships that need to be managed whenever a group comes together to [resolve] something,” Sibbet says. “There are no right answers in group facilitation; there is only ‘what next?’”

With that, there various methods of initiating a successful group facilitation so as to achieve end goal of an agreeable solution to the conflict. Keeping in mind that each participant has the same goal, the process of engaging in group facilitation should dispel any myths, misconceptions, fears, resistance, hesitation, or preconceived notions. After all, the process is to bring to pass an answer to the pressing question of “Where do we go from here?” Yet, to get to the crux of the issue; to root out the underlying cause of the initial conflict, the mediator ought to ensure the following occurs during the group facilitation process:

Step 1). Information exchange. Inviting each party to share their thoughts and feelings with each other leads to a deeper understanding of the issue at-hand.

Step 2). Brainstorming. This allows parties involved to, collectively, discover methods of communicating with each other which then fosters trust and respect.

Step 3). Clarifying issues. Allowing each side to present their points of view brings clarity to the situation; an ability to see the “bigger picture” and increases their individual and collective abilities to identify plausible solutions.

Step 4). Problem solving. Providing an opportunity to arrive upon a consensus of which course of action to take so as to progress and move onward, with renewed clarity and appreciation for each other.

Step 5). Decision-making. Giving each participant an opportunity to actively and positively contribute to the group facilitation process instills a sense of accomplishment, value, and ownership of a co-created plan.

Simply put, an effective mediator is merely a facilitator; they, almost unknowingly, provide each person in the group with the ability to recognize their own ability to resolve the conflict. They gently nudge, encourage, persuade, and lead, with their good listening skills and open-minds, and transform people who were once polarized and, through group facilitation, to become a unified front. Conflict is awkward and uncomfortable. Instinctively we shutter away from situations that appear unsafe or uncomfortable. Yet, dealing with and overcoming conflict requires action. In order to solve a problem, we cannot afford to be passive. Successful conflict resolution lies within our own scope and capabilities. If “perceiving is reality” then, go approach the situation with mindset of success. Visualize success, and you will be triumphant. As trite as they may be, it does not diminish the fact that it true and that it works. This is why group facilitation is crucial, not to mention effective, especially in the workplace. It affords us an avenue to achieve our goals; to successful resolve the conflict. Suddenly, the words of 80s rocker Pat Benatar come to mind—Love is a battlefield. Yet, our relationships, both personally and professionally, are not about fighting with or against each other; rather they are two parties working together to achieve a common goal and having the desire— and the willingness—to do whatever is necessary to maintain harmony, peace, and unity; to be one in purpose.
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About the Author: Danielle White is a client account specialist for 10x Marketing and the Center for Management and Organizational Effectiveness, the nations leading provider of leadership development training, business management coaching, and group facilitation since 1978.

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